Today would have been my mum’s 84th birthday, and yes, I think of her and miss her every day.
The older I become, the more our many similarities, qualities, and characteristics………….
………………….including a love for clothes and shoes… coordinated of course, as well as a rather strong stubborn streak.
Yes, I admit it; I can be stubborn and headstrong.
Her passing was hard even though we knew it was coming.
Knowing never makes the eventual pain any easier.
People say that time is a healer, which I know, having lost my dad when I was 25 years old.
What was different this time, though, and yes, I am older, is that I have learned and allowed myself to process my emotions and pain rather than bottling them up, which I did for many years after my dad’s passing.
You see, as people, we are generally not great at dealing with emotion, never mind processing it.
It seems an easier option to numb the pain and block out any feelings on the surface.
Instead, we turn to our favourite snack, an extra few glasses of wine, or anything else just so long as we can avoid dealing with how we are feeling.
Rather than allowing ourselves to be over-emotional… as some may say… we indulge in other overs…
Overeating… whatever your own indulgence is
Over drinking… one glass easily can become a bottle a night
Overworking… I was super good at this one
Over-exercising…
Over anything… except being over-emotional.
Is this resonating??
So how do you process emotion?
Ask yourself, why are you reaching out for it?
What emotions or feelings are you avoiding?
Then find a quiet space and “be” with your feelings. Let the tears flow or the anger out, however you choose to do this.
Notice how it feels in your body to experience the emotion.
For me, it’s usually tears and a tightness in my throat.
Yes, I get upset.
No, it’s not easy.
And, it feels easier to release the pain rather than hold on to it.
I have realised over time that the worst thing that happens is that I feel a tightness in my throat and am emotionally drained by the tears, yet afterwards, there is a relief and lightness.
My brain then begins to focus on happy times and happy memories.
You see, my brain has told me for far too long to give in to the urge instead of feeling the emotion.
When I decided to take control of my thoughts, I gave myself permission to feel my emotions too.
Here’s to processing emotion and my amazing mum.
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Till next time,
Sharon
